Knowing when you need help

There are times in your life that the treat of losing something so wonderful forces to take a closer look at yourself. admitting that you need help does not mean that you are weak; it's the opposite really. Knowing that you need help and going out to get it is a way to show your strength and your realization that you cannot control everything on your own. Seeing what you need to do makes you feel strong in that you can acknowledge that you are not strong on your own, and you need to get the help so that your stregnth can continue to grow along with those important people in your life.

Relationship Problems--What to do?

When do problems of one party in the relationship begin to negatively affect the other? Sometimes when one person in the relationship is going through changes or is beginning to question how they feel, and they express this to the other party, it begins to change things. Deciding to work it out is one thing, but putting in the REAL effort to change things is another. Can you just say I love you and I don't want to lose you and it's supposed to make things better?

Can you remove the doubts, fear or hesitation your partner now feels because of what has been said? No, but the qustion now becomes, should you have said anything? Who knows. The issue now becomes where you do you go from here? Is it worth trying to fix. You have to decide. Do you TRUELY love this person enough to work things out? This can be a difficult dilemma, especially when it feels like you may be growing apart.

You may begin to have feelings for another person who you think you are connecting to, but it's really because you are losing that connection with your partner. How do you come back from that? This is an individual or couples issue, and noone else can answer this but the two persons in the relationship. Good luck.

After the honeymoon, comes the test.

In relationships the first year is usually the honeymoon phase. This is the time that you think your partner is the most wonderfullest thing ever. Than you begin to see their flaws and they start to get on your nerves, this is the test. Can you survive this time or wil you walk away only to have it happen again in another relationship. Sometimes, it is best to just leave things be, but when the love shared is beyond your own power and no matter what you just do not feel it in your heart that letting go will be the best decision; you work it through. You will go through times of anger and saying mean things and maybe not being intimant because all of those emotional issues are blocking the sexual connection as well.
Talking through and understanding where each other is coming from really is the key aspect of this difficult time. Some choose to attend counseling and that may be the best effort, if the communication proves too difficult between just the two of you. Remember that listening to your heart about this is the most helpful, your mind may agree with your heart at times, but often our defense mechanisms tell us to just let go and you can move on. Can you really? When being without this person literally makes you feel incapacitated or unable to be happy, than working it out is the right choice.
If you can overcome this test of all relationships, the after honeymoon, but before deep, satisfying, tender, unwaivering love begins; you are very fortunate. Because, when you surpass this test to determine if you really can be together for ever and love truely and stand by each other, no matter what others say; you have something very special that will stand the test of time. What comes next is unexplainable; you begin to feel more secure in your bond, and you don't doubt your love this person, or their love for you. You can be your own persons, and still be one together, without getting in each others way of growth and maturity where needed. This level of compassion that rises is beyond words, it is the feeling in your heart that makes you tear up when you think of how deeply you really love this person. It is the feeling of your heart being weak at the amount of tenderness you feel towards this person. These feelings are amazing and because you have overcome such a trying time in your relationship, many other challenges will come, but you will have the strength to overcome them as well.
Love completely, yes, we all have and may get hurt at some point, but why keep yourself from feeling this beautiful sense of love, and finding someone to love you just as much. It is rare, so when you do find this level of love, don't let fear of pain keep you from experiencing it. If you both feel the same, you both will fight for what what you desire and want in and with the other person.

Keeping it between the two of you.

During difficult times in relationships we often feel the need to seek the advice of others. I understand this desire very well, but honestly you should keep it between the two of you, because there are things that the outsider cannot see that are the glue that keep you happy in your relationship. There are also things that you do not see that only an outsider can be privy to. Now seems like a two edged sword, because there seems to be no right answer to this matter.

What are the things you can pick and choose to discuss with an outsider? How intimate can you or should you get? What happens when the outsider is not willing to tell you everything about what they have seen. You cannot make a fully informed decision based on half-ass facts. This is proving to be perplexing dilemma. Okay, if your friend saw that your boyfriend or girlfriend was with another person, in a romantic embrace or on a date. Would you want them to tell you? If you were the friend, would you tell?

Many times friends don't want to get involved in these situations, because most couples stay together until they feel it has run it's course. Now why should anyone get involved? Why should you bother asking for advice when you know that no matter what you are staying with this person. Why do we seek advice when we really are going to do what we want anyway? I guess it's human nature.

Money isn't everything

When I think about all of the money that I have made since I started working and all the money I have used to buy things that I thought would make me happy it saddens me. Money is important, yes I know, but money cannot be the only thing you hold close to your heart. When you die, you would want to leave behind memories that you have made with loved one's, where does the money go? To the banks, government, organizations, maybe distant family members that you never even saw often. It is important to remember the important things in life. Cherish those you love and those who love you. Feel blessed when you are not too ill to work, walk, or breathe. It is the little things in life that brings moments of happiness.

Yea, you can buy a new car, new home, but if you have no one to share it with, what is worth then? Is it enough to be envied by others, who would stab you in the back? Is the worth it to be talked about only for the things you have, and not the things you have done, or the way you have touched lives? Work hard, but do not give your soul to money. It has become a necessity, but only because we have given it importance. "We were so happy poor, but when we got rich, signals got crossed" (Jay-Z). Love deeply, make happy memories, and allow yourself time to just be.